The one underrated skill that every leader needs
Welcome to The Conscious.Me Newsletter. We write for aspiring women and allies ready to lead with deep presence, power, and purpose. Each week, you’ll get grounded insights, mindset shifts, and micro-practices to help you rise above self-doubt and lead with courage and clarity.
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Why you feel respected but not liked
I often have women leaders tell me:
“Bhavna, I know they respect me… but I’m not sure they like me.”
If that’s ever crossed your mind too…
If you’ve felt like you come across as cold or intimidating,
even though all you’re doing is being assertive, prepared, and professional…
You’re not alone.
And here’s why that disconnect happens.
People are hearing you…
But they’re not feeling you.
There’s no emotional resonance. No real connection.
Just information, expertise, and performance.
Now, here’s what’s fascinating:
A Harvard study found that the two core drivers of influence are competence and empathy.
But here’s the nuance most people miss:
If you lead with competence first,
you risk being seen as distant or hard to connect with.
But if you lead with empathy first,
your competence is received with trust.
So in other words — how you show up matters more than what you know.
And this is where most leaders get it wrong.
They lead with the resume.
The results.
The polish.
The pitch.
But real influence lives in those deeper human moments.
Moments where you made them feel seen or heard, instead of pitching your own agenda.
Because the nervous system remembers how you made it feel…long before it remembers what you said.
So when you lead with presence…
You don’t have to push. People lean in.
That’s the real secret:
Influence doesn’t start with speaking.
It starts with seeing.
Practice these 3 things to become a more influential leader
Pause before the pitch.
Ask a personal question before jumping into business.
Let them feel seen before they feel sold to or led.
Mirror their words, not just their energy.
Repeat a phrase they used.
It shows you’re truly listening, not just waiting to speak.
Thank them for more than their time.
Acknowledge their effort, insight, or presence.
Because people don’t just want to feel useful — they want to feel valued.
What’s one moment this week where someone truly saw you? Reply to this email and I’d love to know.
Explore more ideas on leading consciously inside The Conscious Choice Book
My book, The Conscious Choice, explores more such concepts on the impact your choices can have on your life and leadership. It became the Number #1 Amazon Times Bestseller upon launch, and since, has been deeply embraced by readers worldwide. You can order a copy today.